Today was my daughters birthday and I feel like a piggy wiggy! I ate pizza and cake and had like 3 sodas! AAAHHHHH!!! But I did skip the ice cream and stopped drinking soda when I still did want another one :) so say what you want I'm a little proud LOL. Any who I'm writing mainly not to rat myself out but more to rant a little about the "support" team in my life. I'm not stating it with "" because I think people are mean but because I feel like they do not believe in me. More like sure yeah you will lose the weight suuuuuuuuuuuuure. If they realized how hard it was and how bad my feet hurt maybe they would try to support instead of treat it like I'm blowing smoke. Part of me wants to say YOU WILL SEE... YOU WILL ALL SEE... but then I sit back and I'm thinking you know what I don't want them to congratulate me and tell me how good I look when it's like and where were you?! I almost feel like I don't want them to notice... I know this all sounds horrible but honestly it's just really frustrating because it's like maybe part of the reasons I have failed so many times is because it goes like this:
Me- man I really want to lose this weight and this time I'm really going to start
Them- uh huh
Me- No really I cannot live like this anymore I feel so sick and I know my feet could use some sense of relief
Them- what? oh yeah ummm want some of this unhealthy food that you love? I know I never get it but umm I was in the mood want some?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's like it's sabotage or something!! UGH...... OK off my rant and on to it!! I don't want to feel paranoid about others this is about me for once THIS is FOR me and ABOUT me! I have been taking care of other peoples feelings before my own and I'm sick of eating my feelings! I will lose the weight and I will fit into all those nice pants in my closet that I always dreamed and this has nothing to do with anyone but me and my health.... (of course my children are a huge motivation and the reason I want to do it in a healthy manner and not just for weight loss!)
I love you Renee and Ramonsito mommy will be healthy and show you how important it is!