Wednesday, October 19, 2011

There I said it!

Boy was putting on this weight a lot more fun then trying to take it off! You would think with all the running around I do chasing my kids, cleaning up after the messes and the over all lack of time to eat that I would be as thin as my pinky! Life doesn't always "work out" that way... yes I agree that was lame and as my daughter would say in as sarcastic as a 5 year old could get voice "ha-ha very funny".

I have been walking 3-4 miles 5 times a week and it seems that I'm not really gaining or for that matter losing anything! Every time I lay in my bed I can see into my walk in closet and I can see the section of my closet that holds my "dream" clothes. Those that my fat BUTT cannot fit into anymore and it's getting extremely frustrating! I also think my husband is getting frustrated with me saying that I don't have anything to wear when I have a full closet. I tell him I cannot fit that stuff and he wants to know why I hang onto it.

I have a fear I guess... that if I donate those clothes that I will be giving myself permission to stay this weight forever. It always feels worse too when I catch a glimpse in the mirror or in a reflection. If my small fiber neuropathy I have in my feet didn't hurt so bad I would run myself thin but even the walks take everything out of me and leave me in pain for the rest of the day. I just cannot take it guys really what do I do?!

I wouldn't mind eating healthier... in fact I have been more and more but it's not happening. And my scale is broken so even if I have lost a few pounds I cannot find out and have no real motivation to continue. I feel like I have all these emotions about it building up and stressing me out which I know isn't good for weight loss either and I just need to get this all out!! Someone help!!! I wasn't expecting to look different overnight but I did expect to at least start noticing a change....

There I said it! ;)>

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Country Save Laundry Detergent Review!

Hey guys I'm back for a review for my new laundry soap that I'm using :) I also posted a video review if you prefer to get the spiel that way you can find that here:

Alright lets get started on the review!

        I decided to get this laundry detergent after reading a blog posting giving it full stars for cloth diapers. I needed something that day and it was getting late and I couldn't find anything else. I was pleasantly surprised as not only was it wonderful on my cloth diapers but my son didn't experience any chemical burns or stains in the cloth. We used this detergent for quite a few weeks and then found ourselves out of our detergent for ourselves and decided to give this a try for our clothes. And amazingly it worked great! Long story short we use this detergent now for everything! Cloth diapers, children's clothes, and our clothes too! It is great for the environment and great for us too! My daughter Renee has eczema and for the first time in her 5 years of life it is going away! She has been getting dry skin now that the cold air is coming but I have noticed a huge difference since using this laundry detergent on her clothes. This really has been a lucky find for us for the whole family! I'm grateful for the power of research and for being able to locate this soap located at our local store! I love anything that I can do to help the environment as our family becomes more aware of our impact on this earth.

OK guys so if your looking for a new detergent to try might as well give this a go! It's not too expensive and it might just help!

And remember guys share a little kindness and make the world a better place :)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Patting myself on the back :)

One of the BIG problems I have is late night snacking. Something I find myself doing is having a successful day in my diet and then all of a sudden craving a meal when I'm not even THAT hungry. I admit many times I get fast food that is probably as many calories as I should during the day! Well I cannot remember the last time i was able to go to sleep without a late night snack and honestly I think the last time I did it was because I didn't have a choice! I want it to be because of self control because I know I will fall back into it if it's not a choice. Well anyways getting to the point, last night I started to get cravings and I really listened to my body and realized I wasn't really hungry but a little thirsty and really just bored. I had to keep self motivating but I got to bed without eating! I don't know if it was because of that that I kept waking up all night and had trouble sleeping but I'm not going to let my body lie into being unhealthy! I feel so much better waking up today knowing that I was about to drink some water and go to bed. I did notice that the sleep I got was deeper in between the few wake ups. I don't know if the wake ups were for that reason or because I was worried about my son who had gotten shots yesterday. (Hes doing fine and slept better than I did). I'm hoping I can do it again tonight!! Wish me luck and baby dust to those TTCing and weight loss dust to those trying to lose weight!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Bloggin' it for weight loss!

Today was my daughters birthday and I feel like a piggy wiggy! I ate pizza and cake and had like 3 sodas! AAAHHHHH!!! But I did skip the ice cream and stopped drinking soda when I still did want another one :) so say what you want I'm a little proud LOL. Any who I'm writing mainly not to rat myself out but more to rant a little about the "support" team in my life. I'm not stating it with "" because I think people are mean but because I feel like they do not believe in me. More like sure yeah you will lose the weight suuuuuuuuuuuuure. If they realized how hard it was and how bad my feet hurt maybe they would try to support instead of treat it like I'm blowing smoke. Part of me wants to say YOU WILL SEE... YOU WILL ALL SEE... but then I sit back and I'm thinking you know what I don't want them to congratulate me and tell me how good I look when it's like and where were you?! I almost feel like I don't want them to notice... I know this all sounds horrible but honestly it's just really frustrating because it's like maybe part of the reasons I have failed so many times is because it goes like this:
Me- man I really want to lose this weight and this time I'm really going to start
Them- uh huh
Me- No really I cannot live like this anymore I feel so sick and I know my feet could use some sense of relief
Them- what? oh yeah ummm want some of this unhealthy food that you love? I know I never get it but umm I was in the mood want some?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's like it's sabotage or something!! UGH...... OK off my rant and on to it!! I don't want to feel paranoid about others this is about me for once THIS is FOR me and ABOUT me! I have been taking care of other peoples feelings before my own and I'm sick of eating my feelings! I will lose the weight and I will fit into all those nice pants in my closet that I always dreamed and this has nothing to do with anyone but me and my health.... (of course my children are a huge motivation and the reason I want to do it in a healthy manner and not just for weight loss!)

I love you Renee and Ramonsito mommy will be healthy and show you how important it is!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Pre-Weight loss journey: My feelings

On August first I plan on changing my life and they way I have been living it for the last five years. I am over weight and so sick of looking at myself in the mirror and not being able to go shopping and like the way I look. Nothing gives me more anxiety and fear than needing to go clothes shopping. I avoid it at all cost and pretty much have been wearing the same clothes for as long as possible. I do not want sweats to be my main "go to" pants. If you know me personally you are probably sick and tired of hearing how sad I am and how I used to not be this big and blah blah blah.... All I have to say to myself is STOP IT. It's a saying someone close to me has said to me numerous times when I start acting a fool like this. STOP IT!

I will be doing video's on YouTube about my weight loss journey hoping that gives me the motivation to not only do it but stick with it. I will be blogging as well to let you in on my inner most thoughts and feelings about my journey and so that maybe if someone else feels this way they will know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! I REPEAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been ashamed of my feelings and how I use food as a way to keep people away from me when all it has done is make me miserable. Let's be honest I want to look good and that is why it's hard to stay motivated but I know my health needs to be a front runner for this journey. I do not want my kids to watch me keep gaining weight and to tell them basically "do what I say not as I do" when it comes to healthy choices with food. The big problem I have is my small fiber neuropathy that causes pain in my feet and make it hard to be able to exercise. With every extra pound I have I know it adds to the pain in my feet as it is very heavy to carry this all around. Guy's I'm scared, I'm scared of failure, of relapsing back into my old habits and that this weight will haunt me for the rest of my life. However I am more scared that I will wake up and realize I've wasted my whole life being miserable. I've already wasted long enough! Please help me guys and lend any support you can and I promise to do the same for you in anyway you need me!

I want to remove this extra weight and be the person I feel like I am inside. I want healthy foods to fill my fridge without going bad or only being eaten by my husband and children. I hope I can use the fear of failure as the adrenalin I need to get through this!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

GoGreen Cloth diaper giveaway from the blog of babyhalfoff!

I'm writing in green to tell you all about this wonderful opportunity! baby half off and gogreen pocket diapers are partnering to do a giveaway of 12 gogreen cloth diapers to one lucky winner! go check out babyhalffoff blog to find out more information and how to enter. but hurry for this is a limited time opportunity and really worth the time! earth day is coming up lets all work together to make this planet a little cleaner.... after all lets all face the reality that disposable diapers take up 1/3 of the landfill!